99 ways to murder chemistry: Part 2

34. Place something really heavy on it, like a piano or a building.
35. Do open-heart surgery on chemistry without giving it anesthetics.
37. Make it sit through Justin Bieber's movie. 1000 times.
38. Force it to go to chemistry classes all day, especially organic chemistry.
39. Unleash a pack of starved German Shepherds and Dobermen. The trick is to attach a big piece of meat to chemistry.
40. Get a bunch of hardworking, but unsuccessful chemistry students, and hand them some sharp weapons to kill chemistry. Slowly and painfully.
41. Put it in the garbage disposal and run it every minute or so. For however long you want.
42. Make a spaceship that can dissolve itself at high temperatures, then put chemistry in it, then send it to the sun.
43. Make it stay a week in a sorority.
44. Don't let it sleep, eat, or drink for one month (or less if it dies before then).
45. Make it take an organic chemistry exam, then console it about how the test went well, then mark off on the stupidest things, then give it an F. Now, it will know how organic chemistry students feel.
46. Btw, organic chemistry students call the subject "orgo". How cute, you think. Wrong. The word is similar to "ogre", which defines exactly the emotions of all orgo students toward orgo.
47. Sorry to take up that extra number. And this one. I'm slowly getting tired of thinking so much and so am having to make up other ways to use up this space. Ok, back to actual murdering strategies.
48. Disguise chemistry as a soccer ball and give it to the German team.
49. Show it pictures of Andrew Garfield in the Spiderman suit. Gosh, I get close to dying when I see them myself.
50. Put it in a blender with some eggs, flour, and sugar. Bake it and eat it (or give it to someone else to eat, because I bet chemistry sucks at tasting good too).
51. Fry it in scalding hot oil. It will probably die by the time you take it out. So, I advise you not to eat it. Or give it to anyone else to eat.
52. Make it eat a box jellyfish.
53. Make it look at Jensen Ackles. He's even hotter than Andrew Garfield. I can't believe I just said that. But it's kinda true. Jensen Ackles can make anyone melt.
54. Make it watch Supernatural, the show. Because Jensen Ackles stars in it. And Jared Padalecki really helps the hotness factor of that show.
55. Squish it. Like an ugly, horrifying spider.
56. Put it in a grocery bag. Triple knot the bag and hang it somewhere so chemistry cannot unknot it. Then wait for a week.
57. Bow-chica-wow-wooooww. I'm allowed a few free ones, right?
58. Feed it only state fair food for what will become a very short life.
59. Put chemistry in front of a mirror in a dark bathroom. Without looking at the mirror directly, say Bloody Mary three times and dart out.
60. Volunteer chemistry to sumo-wrestle.
62. Drop it from the roof of a 100 story building (somewhere in the vicinity of 100 stories will work too). You know, accidentally.
63. Order it to read through every spam email I get and reply to it very nicely.
64. Disguise chemistry into a bobo doll and give to a very angry kid.
65. Make it listen to Ke$ha. Nonstop.
66. Deprive it of coffee for a month. Then, have a coffee pot going. Then, drink the coffee in front of it. But still, don't give it any coffee.
67. Drown it. In applesauce.
68. Take an axe to it.
69. Give chemistry to a zombie.
70. Make it watch a Twilight movie.
71. Have it spend a day with Robert Pattinson AND Kristen Stewart.
72. Take it on a cruise. Then, leave on a cannibalistic island.
73. Make it eat chinese food. WITHOUT Sriracha hot sauce.
74. Put it on one side of a see-saw. Have a sumo wrestler jump on the other side from 20 feet above. I don't know how you'll arrange for that, but if you hate chemistry, that should be motivation enough to attempt this.
75. Look up the hottest 3-day streak, and leave chemistry out to get baked! Then, eat it. 
76. Fill a room with pictures of Jensen Ackles, preferably shirtless, and leave chemistry in there for some time. I shouldn't have to explain what is going to happen.
77. Introduce chemistry to Jensen Ackles, IN PERSON! This would be worse than #76. Especially if Jensen Ackles is shirtless at the time of the meeting.
78. Put it in a washer. For 30 washes in a row.
79. Make it read all the laws, legislation, and bills of United States.
80. Leave it on an all-girls floor in a college dormitory that is known for partying, assuming that chemistry is unisex. I don't want it to enjoy being on this floor.
81. Put it in a paper shredder. Over and over and over again.
82. Deprive it of chocolate for a month.
83. JENSEN ACKLES, JENSEN ACKLES, JENSEN ACKLES.
84. Tie it up, and present to a subject serial killer. If that even makes any sense.
85. Tie it up, attach a big, HUMONGOUS sack of chemistry books, and drop it in the ocean.
86. Punch it. Over and over and over again.
87. Shoot it with a tranquilizer. Over and over and over again. It will eventually tire and die.
88. Smash up some Destroying Angels and mix with chemistry. Make sure you don't die in the process.
89. Find some really bored kids. Tell them about a game called "Throwing Stones for Fun". Give them stones, and tell them chemistry is the target. 
90. Kick it multiple times. Just take all your frustration about the world, and put it all into those kicks. Ask other people to help if your kicks are not enough to kill it.
91. Slather with human blood. Give to zombies.
92. Set a basilisk on it.
93. Throw across an electrocuting fence.
94. Tell Sam and Dean that chemistry is a very bad demon. And then, watch Sam and Dean. Mainly Dean.
95. Make it drink a lot of water. But don't let it use the bathroom.
96. Stuff it with potatoes, sprinkle some cheese and broccoli on it, put it in the oven at 350 for 20 minutes. Eat. Relish.
97. Choke it with string cheese.
98. Just sit on it. Or ask a terribly obese person to sit on it. And never get up.
99. Jensen. Ackles.

All man. All pretty.

Merry Christmas!

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

I don't really celebrate Christmas because I'm Indian. Like from India. But this year, the holidays are proving to be great. One: because my family has not really fought with each other in any major way (yet). We usually have at least one big fight which ruins much of the holidays. It's been that way for quite some time now.

This is sort of how big fights in our house work. Usually the people fighting just stop talking for a while. It's nice - there's some quite and peace and much needed time away from each other. The fights suck though. So, I am very happy this holiday season because there were no fights (knock on wood). By the way, "Gilmore Girls" is my and my sister's favorite show, which is playing in the background TV. Coincidentally, there was an argument over the TV a couple of holidays ago, so the pictorial description is very much accurate.

The best part of this Christmas is that now that we have a new and nice big house, we set up and decorated a tree AND gave presents to each other. It was GREAT because I also got some money. I love money.

So Merry Christmas everyone...once again. And have I got a gift for you:

You are welcome.

99 ways to murder chemistry: Part 1.

Don't get me wrong. I'm a biochemistry major. I love science, I love biology, I love chemistry, hence the bio-chemistry major. Get it, bio-chem?! hah. (See how school has slowly starting killing my otherwise excellent and entertaining sense of humor?)

But when you work your ass off, studying 20+ hours, and then find an exam filled with tricky and confusingly-worded questions, it makes you think how deranged chemistry is. For every question I missed for my most recent exam, a part of me died. Because I realized that they were all the "easier" questions, and if I'd been given more time or put more thought and focus, I could have gotten them right. Worst part: all my second choices for the questions I missed (it was a multiple choice exam) were actually the right answers. I could have gotten a 98% if I had gone with my second choices. And at this moment, chemistry is the worst thing that has happened to human beings. So here is my solution: kill it. And I even went a step further to provide 99 ways to kill this psychotic, happiness-stripping subject. For anyone who would want to try it:

1) Burn it.

2) Put it in a centrifuge machine without paying attention to safety measures like closing it properly. Get out of the room before turning it on.

3) Mix chemistry with antimatter. Science killing science - that's brilliant.

4) Sit on it.

5) Make a fat person sit on it.

6) Feed it a poisonous fungus.

7) Run it over with a car, bike, and scooter.

8) Put it in blender. Turn on all switches to the highest power possible.

9) Flush it down the toilet.

10) Tell Voldemort that chemistry is better than him. He'll kill chemistry for you. He'll probably kill you too, but at least you'll be a hero to future generations.

11) Put in a rocket aimed at a distant galaxy or star. Then, leave it there.

12) Dump in an orthophosphate-ridden body of water. Hah...your teachings are leading to your own demise, chemistry.

13) Eat it. Biological processes in the body are sure to destroy it.

14) Starve a couple of fat people. Put chemistry on floor in front of said fat people. Place cake a little farther away. Stand back and watch chemistry get destroyed.

15) Place inside a bomb calorimeter. Refer to #12 for snide comment.

16) Obtain a serial killer. Keep yourself out of reach of serial killer while handing him/her a knife and chemistry. Watch.

17) Shake it a lot.

18) Place next to Andrew Garfield. Chemistry will destroy itself out of shame for not being able to match the pure awesomeness of Andrew Garfield.

19) Throw into air. It will fall down inevitably, but keep doing it. The higher it is thrown, and the more often it is thrown, the sooner it will die. 

20) Put into a special container that can fuel itself and survive in extreme conditions. Send to the core of Earth. Then, prompt the container to open itself, release chemistry, and thereby eradicate chemistry.

21) Dance/jump on it for a really long time.

22) Show it a mirror. It will commit suicide after this.

23) Put it in an extremely high pressure container. 

24) Put it in a vacuum.

25) Put on floor and run a vacuum cleaner over it. 

26) Put in a pinata and present to sugar-deprived children.

27) Ask Andrew Garfield to smile at it. It'll be one of the more pleasant options. 

28) Turn into a Howler (Harry Potter reference). It will destroy itself.

29) Cover with human blood and flesh and give to zombie.

30) Connect to a paper clip. Stick the paper clip into an electric socket.

31) Hand to a woman in labor and tell her it is a stress ball.

32) Feed to a shark. 

33) Make it listen to Lady Gaga on repeat. 

Ok, I'm getting a little tired. And hungry. And I have to study for two more finals. I just took my chemistry final today. I'm sure to feel just as much hatred when I find out what grade I got on the final and for my overall class, so I will continue with the other 66 ways to murder chemistry later when I have more time.

Thank you for tuning in, and be sure to try one of these if you feel just as much disgust for this subject. Most of them cost little to nothing. Enjoy!

Sums it all up pretty well.

I think everyone will thank me for posting this - even though it's a bit redundant in content.

I think I should rename my blog "All about hot guys"

Ok, I'm not changing the name of my blog. To that at least. Because I don't want to attract only mindless teenagers to my blog. I'm hoping that this blog turns into something more than just shallow discussions on how good-looking men are, especially in Hollywood.

I'm also struggling to come up with a topic to write about. See, I'm in the midst of my first college finals week. I'm excited, because I'm a dork. I'm not too scared, because, again, I'm a dork. I think I'll do just fine, which is why is why I'm writing a blog entry right now.

A few weeks ago, I did very badly on an exam, and I was going to write about it, but then I felt it would be more appropriate to just slump on my bed and cry for an extensive amount of time. Which I did. But that's over. I will still write something offensive about that particular subject, so stay tuned if you would like to hear me vent and kill a particular subject (but it's impossible to kill a subject, you say. You've never met me. I can kill anything).

I guess I'm not really writing about much in this entry then. This is kinda sad. But I bet anyone who ever took finals can understand the slight stress I'm experiencing at the moment. I say slight because, you know, I'm so smart I don't need to be super stressed like some of the other kids.

Anyways, soon, I promise to come back with some more interesting stuff. Maybe something about Andrew Garfield, because I'm becoming majorly obsessed with him. Here's a picture of him, just so you understand why I would be obsessed with him. I guess this has kind of turned into yet another entry about a good-looking guy. What can I say. I just can't stay away from that topic.

Also, fun fact: chocolate is poisonous for dogs and other small animals. I guess now I know what to carry with me to scare dogs away.

GGGAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Edward Cullen and Robert Pattinson both equal a 0 on my hotness rating.

As I looked through my past entries, I realized that most of them were about men. Sexy men, at that. So, I decided to continue with that subject, but reveal the person I don't find so sexy: Rob Pattinson.

First, hair that says "I just woke up" and "I am high" simultaneously is not very appealing.
Second, being as pale as a ghost is also not so hot. It makes you look sickly. That is also not hot.
Third, being able to express yourself/feelings mainly in teenage lingo is annoying.

All of this goes for Kristen Stewart as well. Why these two were cast in the movies, I will never understand. I am not a movie critic. And I applaud myself on being nice, because no matter how horrible movies are, I appreciate the effort put into it by the cast and crew. But Twilight is probably the only movie that I explicitly dislike. I don't find Robert Pattinson or Kristen Stewart to be good actors. Far from it. Perhaps it's the age, perhaps not. But talking as if you are having asthma attacks is the not the same as being scared. I'm not one to say whether they put effort into their acting or not, but to me, it doesn't seem like it. And does no one else notice that the movies are made in so little time with such a small budget (seen in the horrible animation) that it seems as if the directors are only interested in the revenue that they turn out?

I think these two can are better actors. Should have cast them.

What frustrates me most about this preteen, female emotion/fantasy driven obsession is that these movies are the poorest example of what a movie is about, and yet, it's not only getting money, but fans.

Don't even get me started on the books. I think I would offend more people if I started on them. So, I'm just going to be quiet, but just so you know, Edward Cullen isn't so hot either. I think you would understand when you fall in love with a psycho, manipulative, controlling vampire. I think those are the worse kind.

Oh, yeah, that's hot.

Scabior is the sexiest Snatcher in history.

I SAW HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS AND ANYBODY WHO SAYS IT WASN'T GOOD CAN GO HIDE IN A CORNER BECAUSE STONES WILL BE THROWN AT THEM!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, so now that the announcement is over with, I can move on to the more important topic of how good the new Harry Potter movie was. I love Harry Potter. I fell in love with Daniel Radcliffe when I was 10 years old, and then my love/obsession made me check out the Harry Potter books, and then I fell in love with the books as well. J.K. Rowling has to be one of the most creative minds in this universe. She planned the books out so perfectly, so diligently that by the end of the seventh book, every question or doubt was made clear. The book is more than just a book about wizards; it has themes of forgiving and redemption, good over evil, and how friendships are forever. I think the book is wonderful on too many levels, filled with so complex characters and storylines that it leaves you pondering long after reading the very last words of the very last book. I don't think very many people can write series of books with each one topping its precedent.

And Deathly Hallows was an excellent book; and I breathed a sigh of relief when the movie turned out well. I was scared after the fifth movie, because the directors were not doing a very good job covering the important aspects of the book. I liked the Half-Blood Prince for its cinematography, but, like my sisters said, it was about nothing really, except that SPOILER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dumbledore dies.
Okay, spoiler over.

The Deathly Hallows movie covered the basic, main points of the book. I mean, it had to be good if at the end of the movie, the first words out of my mouth were "too short" (that's what she said. haha. Excuse my childish, inappropriate humor). Also, I don't understand why bad guys, in ALL movies, are so freaking sexy. Did you see Scabior?! That guy who goes around forests searching for people to bring back to Voldemort. He is a Snatcher in the book, so that's his job -- to "snatch" people for Voldemort. He was the one with the long hair in a ponytail and the eyeliner. Almost reminded me of Johnny Depp from Pirates of the Caribbean. So. Freaking. Sexy.

I wouldn't mind being snatched by him.

Gimme him.