35. Do open-heart surgery on chemistry without giving it anesthetics.
37. Make it sit through Justin Bieber's movie. 1000 times.
38. Force it to go to chemistry classes all day, especially organic chemistry.
39. Unleash a pack of starved German Shepherds and Dobermen. The trick is to attach a big piece of meat to chemistry.
40. Get a bunch of hardworking, but unsuccessful chemistry students, and hand them some sharp weapons to kill chemistry. Slowly and painfully.
41. Put it in the garbage disposal and run it every minute or so. For however long you want.
42. Make a spaceship that can dissolve itself at high temperatures, then put chemistry in it, then send it to the sun.
43. Make it stay a week in a sorority.
44. Don't let it sleep, eat, or drink for one month (or less if it dies before then).
45. Make it take an organic chemistry exam, then console it about how the test went well, then mark off on the stupidest things, then give it an F. Now, it will know how organic chemistry students feel.
46. Btw, organic chemistry students call the subject "orgo". How cute, you think. Wrong. The word is similar to "ogre", which defines exactly the emotions of all orgo students toward orgo.
47. Sorry to take up that extra number. And this one. I'm slowly getting tired of thinking so much and so am having to make up other ways to use up this space. Ok, back to actual murdering strategies.
48. Disguise chemistry as a soccer ball and give it to the German team.
49. Show it pictures of Andrew Garfield in the Spiderman suit. Gosh, I get close to dying when I see them myself.
50. Put it in a blender with some eggs, flour, and sugar. Bake it and eat it (or give it to someone else to eat, because I bet chemistry sucks at tasting good too).
51. Fry it in scalding hot oil. It will probably die by the time you take it out. So, I advise you not to eat it. Or give it to anyone else to eat.
52. Make it eat a box jellyfish.
53. Make it look at Jensen Ackles. He's even hotter than Andrew Garfield. I can't believe I just said that. But it's kinda true. Jensen Ackles can make anyone melt.
54. Make it watch Supernatural, the show. Because Jensen Ackles stars in it. And Jared Padalecki really helps the hotness factor of that show.
55. Squish it. Like an ugly, horrifying spider.
56. Put it in a grocery bag. Triple knot the bag and hang it somewhere so chemistry cannot unknot it. Then wait for a week.
57. Bow-chica-wow-wooooww. I'm allowed a few free ones, right?
58. Feed it only state fair food for what will become a very short life.
59. Put chemistry in front of a mirror in a dark bathroom. Without looking at the mirror directly, say Bloody Mary three times and dart out.
60. Volunteer chemistry to sumo-wrestle.
62. Drop it from the roof of a 100 story building (somewhere in the vicinity of 100 stories will work too). You know, accidentally.
63. Order it to read through every spam email I get and reply to it very nicely.
64. Disguise chemistry into a bobo doll and give to a very angry kid.
65. Make it listen to Ke$ha. Nonstop.
66. Deprive it of coffee for a month. Then, have a coffee pot going. Then, drink the coffee in front of it. But still, don't give it any coffee.
67. Drown it. In applesauce.
68. Take an axe to it.
69. Give chemistry to a zombie.
70. Make it watch a Twilight movie.
71. Have it spend a day with Robert Pattinson AND Kristen Stewart.
72. Take it on a cruise. Then, leave on a cannibalistic island.
73. Make it eat chinese food. WITHOUT Sriracha hot sauce.
74. Put it on one side of a see-saw. Have a sumo wrestler jump on the other side from 20 feet above. I don't know how you'll arrange for that, but if you hate chemistry, that should be motivation enough to attempt this.
75. Look up the hottest 3-day streak, and leave chemistry out to get baked! Then, eat it.
76. Fill a room with pictures of Jensen Ackles, preferably shirtless, and leave chemistry in there for some time. I shouldn't have to explain what is going to happen.
77. Introduce chemistry to Jensen Ackles, IN PERSON! This would be worse than #76. Especially if Jensen Ackles is shirtless at the time of the meeting.
78. Put it in a washer. For 30 washes in a row.
79. Make it read all the laws, legislation, and bills of United States.
80. Leave it on an all-girls floor in a college dormitory that is known for partying, assuming that chemistry is unisex. I don't want it to enjoy being on this floor.
81. Put it in a paper shredder. Over and over and over again.
82. Deprive it of chocolate for a month.
83. JENSEN ACKLES, JENSEN ACKLES, JENSEN ACKLES.
84. Tie it up, and present to a subject serial killer. If that even makes any sense.
85. Tie it up, attach a big, HUMONGOUS sack of chemistry books, and drop it in the ocean.
86. Punch it. Over and over and over again.
87. Shoot it with a tranquilizer. Over and over and over again. It will eventually tire and die.
88. Smash up some Destroying Angels and mix with chemistry. Make sure you don't die in the process.
89. Find some really bored kids. Tell them about a game called "Throwing Stones for Fun". Give them stones, and tell them chemistry is the target.
90. Kick it multiple times. Just take all your frustration about the world, and put it all into those kicks. Ask other people to help if your kicks are not enough to kill it.
91. Slather with human blood. Give to zombies.
92. Set a basilisk on it.
93. Throw across an electrocuting fence.
94. Tell Sam and Dean that chemistry is a very bad demon. And then, watch Sam and Dean. Mainly Dean.
95. Make it drink a lot of water. But don't let it use the bathroom.
96. Stuff it with potatoes, sprinkle some cheese and broccoli on it, put it in the oven at 350 for 20 minutes. Eat. Relish.
97. Choke it with string cheese.
98. Just sit on it. Or ask a terribly obese person to sit on it. And never get up.
99. Jensen. Ackles.
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| All man. All pretty. |
